Don't worry mates, we're friendly!



Except to wankers threatening me'n me sister. Can't we all bloody get along? Oh and daft gits with flying sharks. Sharks don't fly, they breach!

Sometimes I think you lot are way too bloody serious.

You get aggro when something little goes wrong. It could be a curse or someone just calling you a cheeky cow. I like to think that's cos you didn't have much in your homeworld, so now you want to keep everything as perfect as you can. Where I come from that's called getting spoiled.

Some o'you are so fucking frigid, you got this chip on your shoulders from the old homeworld. You know vampire, werewolf, soulless this and soulless that. I've got a right mind to bet your biggest enemy's yourself. You don't think you deserve to be happy.

Well this isn't your world, this is a great world, you've all got yourselves a second chance. Don't piss on it.

I've swum the whole bloody Atlantic more times than any curse can scare me off of it.

Jack! Richard! Surf, yeh?

Pretty and Precious, care for a bit o'waffle fish sandwich? S'right, waffle fish sandwich.

Oy mate, you came with recommendations.

But Saya, she's too young!

They're so... bloody delicious... I need more.

Anyone 'oo doesn't want any? Pass'em my way if you please!

Deliver to:

Scholar
Sydney Opera House
Cove at Northshore Beach
The City

Unpleasant shit, that curse was. Ought to start a list on what never to say to a bird... Top it off though I made me a new mate! Strength in bloody numbers.

To the blokes and birds who keep blowing up the beaches:

At least leave me the fish you fry?

GUESS WHAT CITY.

IT'S ME BIRTHDAY.

Bet you lot never thought I'd make it to twenty-eight.

Voice Post//Why won't it stop!?

Oy oy, but I'm not even from--

Out on bail fresh outta jail, California dreamin
Soon as I stepped on the scene, I'm hearin hoochies screamin
Fiendin for money and alcohol
the life of a west side playa where cowards die
and its all war
Only in Cali where we riot not rally to live and die
In L.A. we wearin Chucks not Ballies (that's right, uh)
Dressed in Locs and khaki suits and ride is what we do
Flossin but have caution we collide with other crews
Famous cause we program worldwide
Let'em recognize from Long Beach to Rosecrans
Bumpin and grindin like a slow jam, it's west side
So you know the row won't bow down to no man
Say what you say
But give me that bomb beat from Dre
Let me serenade the streets of L.A.
From Oakland to Sactown
The Bay Area and back down
Cali is where they put they mack down
Cali-love

California

edln sersel,esrl;

/;l;lweer eropop

//Voice Post//

Squeak squeeeaaak squeak??

....

SQUUEEEAK!!!??!

You teach'em how to surf, you teach'em how to swim, you paddle out when'ey get a cramp, is this the thanks Scholar gets for patrolling? It's about time this place washed up more than a straggler or rubber on me shore. Night's cool, tide's warm, there's a wind, s'nothing you lot should be complaining over! I'm surfing.

Knots were up to bloody fifty today! Saya, your kite works like a charm.

You lot, me thanks for not taking your tumble to the sands. It would've been a right cock up, mavericking in like I do.

KITESURFING WHOO!!!!!

These poofy shoes are still stuck to me dogs. I can't turn a bleedin' kick on these!

Geeeoooorrrrrge, me luv. I know you've got a set o'wheels. Care to give old Scholar a lift?

Please? Pretty please?

Spamloggin' for Saya//WTFery Comments for Everyone Else

Wo'.... wo'the....

.....

.....

GREAT BLEEDING SHITE SAYA WE WON THE WAR.

//Voice Post, Applies to Comments!//

OY OY. I'm tired of'earing 'ow I look like tha' bugger Heath Ledger.

I'M NOT FROM BLEEDIN' PERTH!!!

SAYA. I had a gift for you but... it's gone fecking berserk.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYWAY LUV.

The rest o'you lot ever heard of a bloody trash can? I found a tied off rubber on the beach today. FOR THE LOVE OF BIG MAMA DON'T LITTER.

COMMENT LOGGING AHEAD

[Electrical signal to the network.]

Fzz.... skrtch. George? Sccrtch--a splash of water. Fzzt. Oh shite.

[End signal.]

[There's a dark eyed blonde individual sitting in the middle of the Fountain, meditating Indian style on a soaked plank that was once his surfboard.]

Any minute now this'll all be over. Aaaany minute.... Maybe an 'our....

[There's a thick brown fuzzy arachnid crawling around in his hair too. Worry not, they are related. Yes really.]